


To the Place I Know

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Asian American Babies, Back to LA We Go, Homesickness, M/M, Real Carne Asada Nostalgia, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-21
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-30 00:54:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1012091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Himuro visits Tokyo, Kagami cooks, and they have a chat about their future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To the Place I Know

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to A, my partner in everything, for the encouragement, read-overs, and support.

Tatsuya has been learning to drive recently. Whether it’s a six hour train ride or six hour car drive, he finds that he doesn’t really mind as long as it gets him to Tokyo. Maybe he’s just using his imminent return to L.A. as an excuse to come visit Taiga as often as he can. He doesn’t think it matters, though, not when all he really wants is to see Taiga.

He pulls into the building’s parking lot before sending a text announcing his arrival. Even when Taiga doesn’t respond, he pulls his bag out of the back seat and locks the car behind him. He makes his way up the stairs, humming low under his breath. The text is just a courtesy; Tatsuya has long since been handed a copy of the keys to Taiga’s apartment. He still remembers how red Taiga turned as he pushed them into Tatsuya’s hand ( _“It’s just in case I’m not there to open the door for you!”_ ). Tatsuya wisely chose not to ask when such a situation would arise, and they haven’t talked about it since.

Tatsuya knocks once, then turns the key in its hole, letting himself into the apartment. He doesn’t stare when he sees Taiga wearing a frilly pink apron. Toeing off his shoes, he sniffs. Taiga seems to be cooking what looks and smells suspiciously like carne asada. “Homesick?” he asks.

“Don’t act like you wouldn’t kill for a street taco,” Taiga says, completely unfazed. He has to admit that he probably would, but he doesn’t say anything, walking into the living room to put his bag down.

It’s only when he comes back into the kitchen that he realizes that Taiga’s making an abbreviated version of carne asada fries. Tatsuya smiles at him, chest welling up with affection.

“What?” Taiga’s brows twitch, all four of them, and Tatsuya shakes his head.

“Nothing, I just like carne asada fries,” he says.

Taiga mutters, low under his breath, “Obviously.”

It’s enough to make his stomach twist with a little--a lot of--guilt about how Taiga doesn’t know that he’ll be able to gorge himself on real carne asada fries without him very soon. Ever since his mom opened his acceptance letter to UCLA, Tatsuya has been looking for a way to tell Taiga about his plans for university. Everything comes up short, and a six hour drive from Akita did nothing to help him come up with an explanation.

“You should go sit down. Aren’t you tired from driving?” Taiga asks.

“Traffic was hellish as usual,” he says, stretching. “Tokyo is always so crowded.”

Taiga winces when he hears his back crack. “I told you I could go up to Akita this time.”

Tatsuya thinks about reaching up to pat his cheek fondly. He touches his shoulder instead. “I’m fine, Tiger. It’s just a little driving.”

Taiga narrows his eyes at him. “Why are you driving so much lately, anyway?”

Moments like these don’t come by them often, and Tatsuya doesn’t want to let them go. He decides that it can wait, and he watches Taiga pour meat over the fries with an expert flick of the wrist.

“It seems like a valuable skill,” he says at last. It sounds incredibly unconvincing, even to his own ears. Taiga’s standing there in a frilly apron, and _he’s_ the one who feels ridiculous.

Taiga looks at him for a long moment, before he spoons guacamole and vegetables on top of the meat. “I guess so,” he agrees.

If Taiga doesn’t ask him a million questions about his terrible lie right now, it means that he doesn't plan to. When he turns to Tatsuya and asks him a question about sour cream, Tatsuya knows that he's too good to be true.

“Where did you even get these ingredients?” he asks.

“I researched online about substituting some.” Taiga pushes the plate into Tatsuya’s hands, nodding at the table. He sits at the table and doesn’t wait for Taiga to bring them forks before he digs in. It’s not as good as the fries he remembers eating on Olvera Street, but Tatsuya’s almost positive that it’s the nostalgia talking. Or the lack of cumin. It’s really the thought that counts, though, right?

“Almost as good as Alex’s,” he says, grinning.

Taiga rolls his eyes and snorts. “Suck up.” He starts eating, too, and they sit in silence as they appraise Taiga’s handiwork in the kitchen. Tatsuya watches as the corners of his mouth turn down a little in disappointment. In spite of the fact that Taiga’s no longer a kid, Tatsuya wants to pat his head and offer to fly out to L.A. for “some real carne asada.”

He nudges Taiga’s fork with his own. “Cheer up, Tiger. We can go get okonomiyaki tomorrow. If you don’t have to study for school.” Taiga shoots him a grim look, and he laughs. “Ever the dedicated student, our Taiga.”

“I just have trouble in Japanese Lit,” he says, stabbing a fry viciously. “Who even cares what they said in the Sengoku Era?”

Tatsuya listens as he starts telling him about how unnecessary half his schooling is for basketball. “The only one who thinks about his grades is that nerd Midorima,” Taiga says.

“Your friends are sort of weird,” he agrees.

“Tch, you’re one to talk.” Taiga walks back into the kitchen for the rest of the meat and fries. “Murasakibrows is the weirdest,” he says, waving a spatula.

Tatsuya likes to think of him as misunderstood. He ignores the jab and beams at Taiga. “Atsushi’s been bugging me about a practice game with you, by the way.”

Taiga frowns; he might as well stamp ‘Fuck no’ onto his forehead. “Tell him not to hold his breath!”

“Atsushi says he’s sorry for being a benchwarmer the last time. He just really wanted to try Green Tea KitKat in the middle of the game,” he says.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Taiga looks down at the meat in the pan, like he’s contemplating whether he should eat it whole or not. It shouldn’t be possible for someone to retain so many habits from childhood, and yet here Taiga is, forking too much meat from the pan. Tatsuya fights the urge to tease him about how attractive he looks when shoveling food into his mouth.

“At the rate you’re going, you might even be able to beat out Alex.” He swears that Taiga pales a little, and he wonders if he should Google instructions for the Heimlich Maneuver.

“Don’t ever bring that up to her,” Taiga says once he manages to swallow. “The last time I even suggested it, she tripled my order at In-N-Out.” He stares at the food on the table for a second before smiling at him. “I’d also kill for In-N-Out right now.”

Tatsuya feels a little queasy, not entirely because of the anecdote. “Alex didn’t tell me about that detail.”

“Yeah, she ate like twenty double-doubles in one go.” Taiga shakes his head. “But looking back on it now makes me feel like I should’ve eaten more when I could have,” he says mournfully.

Tatsuya’s throat tightens and he wants to rewind the evening so that the first thing he does is tell Taiga his news. That way, he can eat his soggy fries in peace without the overwhelming urge to run for the nearest trash bin. His hands feel clammy, so he puts down his fork before he can drop it.

“Maybe I can buy you some double-doubles next year,” he says slowly.

Taiga raises a brow, before he puts his fork down, too. He doesn’t say anything, but Tatsuya knows when he’s being watched. His heart hammers into his throat, and he can’t believe that he’s so nervous about something like this.

“There’s a reason why I’ve been driving around a lot this year,” he says. “I got into UCLA. I’ve been talking about it with my mom, and we agreed it’s the best choice for me.”

“What--that’s great!” Taiga claps his shoulder and grins. “Congratulations!”

“Thanks,” he manages weakly, like the wind's been knocked out of him. Tatsuya doesn't know what sort of reaction he expected, but he doesn't think knowing that would make the disappointment taste any less bitter in the back of his tongue. Of course it’s easy for Taiga to be sincere about his congratulations. He’s been losing sleep over the acceptance letter, and Taiga can’t even take a second to think about what he says to him. It seems foolish now that Tatsuya was so adamant about being the big brother when he had no idea what that even entailed.

“I know that it...won’t be easy on you,” Tatsuya says, and starts picking at the hem of his sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

Taiga’s eyes go wide. “Tatsuya...you don’t--you don’t have to be sorry.”

Then the air falls silent and flat between them. Tatsuya wants to grab him by the collar and shake him, to ask him if that’s all he’s going to say. “Aren’t you going to miss your older brother?” he finally asks.

“What?”

“It wasn’t a hard question, Taiga. I’m asking you if you’re going to miss me.” Tatsuya bites the inside of his cheek. He realizes that he’s afraid to know what Taiga’s answer might be, whether it’ll be something he doesn’t want to hear.

Taiga looks at him, then back down at the table. “Sorry,” he says after a while. His knuckles turn white on the table, his hand clenched tight. “I wanted to be cool and just tell you that it’s okay, but looks like I’m not that cool.”

Taiga doesn’t know how to hold a grudge. It's why he forgave Tatsuya like nothing happened between them all those years ago. It means that he always agrees to go eat what Tatsuya happens to be craving that evening, and he always tells him that “it’s okay” when Tatsuya phones to tell him he doesn’t have time to come down to Tokyo for the weekend. It means that it’s time for Tatsuya to stop thinking about it and just reach across the table to put his hand over Taiga’s.

Taiga squeezes Tatsuya’s fingers. His grip is a little too strong, but Tatsuya doesn't mind. “Tatsuya, I want you to be happy, but I don’t want you to leave.”

He wonders if he should feel guilty for being so relieved when Taiga looks so contrite, the corners of his mouth turned down so unhappily. Taking a deep breath, he reminds himself that they don’t have any scores to even, not anymore. “Silly Tiger,” he says, swallowing his fear at last. “Who says you have to be cool about something like this?”

"I don't want you to drag your feet to L.A. because of me!" Taiga protests. He doesn't protest, however, the hand Tatsuya cards into his hair. His face turns pink as he looks up at him.

Tatsuya smiles a little, watching the flush spread down Taiga's neck. "I'll miss you, too."

"That's not what I said!"

"Don't you know? Older brothers can always intuit what their younger brothers are thinking," he says, laughing when Taiga's face goes completely red as he pulls Tatsuya's hand out of his hair. Taking the hint he's given, Tatsuya tries to pull his other hand away as well.

He smiles when Taiga doesn't let go.

"You owe me like a million double doubles," Taiga says, voice muffled from where he's bent over the table.

Tatsuya tries hard not to laugh. "I'll buy you as many as you want."

This time, the silence doesn't feel so terrible as they sit together at the kitchen table. Taiga finally lifts his head and pushes the dishes in Tatsuya's direction.

"I cooked, you clean."

"But I'm a guest," Tatsuya says, clicking his tongue. He takes the dishes anyway, putting them in the sink. Taiga rolls his eyes, but doesn't move from where he sits.

Tatsuya turns on the water, washing away the remnants of Taiga’s best attempts to make this place feel like home, too. He looks at Taiga, who’s grinning at him, and takes a moment to soak it all in: the relaxed slope of his shoulders, the curve of his mouth, the warmth in his eyes. This won’t be the last conversation they have on the matter, but Tatsuya knows that he doesn’t have to apologize for going back first. For now, it’s okay to smile back at Taiga. It’s okay just to be happy. They deserve that much, after all.

\----

\---

-

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from [Magnetic North & Taiyo Na's single, "Home: Word."](http://www.maxilyrics.com/magnetic-north-and-taiyo-na-home%3Aword-lyrics-e914.html) Asian American beats for Asian American kids. I pulled out my hair writing these two, but I hope that you enjoyed it!!


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